You don’t know me!

Posted on April 28, 2013 by

Pedicures, manicures, facials, massages, you name it, they are things that make us feel special. Beautiful. They are the treatments that we “deserve” after a long week at work or something to just make us feel better.

In the past, I have been one to have a standing appointment with Rachel, my nail lady. Every two weeks, pink and white fill and a pedicure. Once a month, new set of nails. Expensive? Yes! Time consuming? Yes! Especially since I have to drive 45 mins just to get to the salon. Whew! Dedication isn’t it?

But why? To feel beautiful. It’s amazing to me how a new set of nails and pretty toes can change the outlook of my mindset.

However last fall I stopped getting my nails done. Nails and farming don’t go we’ll together. But my toes continued to be pampered, but not as often. That is one thing about me, nails may not be polished, but my toes will always have color.

BUT WAIT! The pampering came in the form of me slapping some polish on over the remaining chipped polish from previous visits with Rachel. So not pretty!

SOOOOO, finally this weekend I broke out the polish remover and cotton balls and removed 4 layers of polish. My toes are a little stained from the colors…Imagine that? I can’t decide if they are orange or red.

I wanted the staining to fade before I suffocated my nail beds with polish once again, I resisted and haven’t “picked a color” yet.

I am not used to the nakedness my toes are feeling. Definitely don’t want to wear the ole’ flip flops in public. I guess I should say though…my nails are short, clean and presentable, cuticles trimmed, just not polished.

Uh oh! I need to go to the store. Do I wear flip flops? It’s so pretty outside and I hate shoes, but my toes aren’t pretty. Maybe I will just wear my boots. I don’t want to wear my boots because they require socks and it’s too hot for all those clothes!

Seriously…this is a conversation I had with myself…TODAY! And as I look back and read the statements about my toes not being “pretty” makes me sad. God thinks they are perfect! He made them…so they are perfect.

And then it hits me! “If somebody judges me because I don’t have my toes painted that is their problem! THEY DON’T KNOW ME!”

I am a good person, who likes to feel put together. I’m smart and definitely not lazy. I care about my appearance and want to make a good impression. Quietly I hear God’s Holy Spirit, “that is outwardly appearances Kaaren.”

And then scripture comes to my mind, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears The Lord is to be praised.” Psalm 31:30

Well I’m fearful…not afraid of scared, but reverential fear. Corrected by my Daddy in heaven.

Suddenly, my heart softened to all of the people I cross paths with daily. I place judgment all the time based on different things. Their clothing, their hairstyle, their actions, their words, their lack of motivation, their excuses, their job, their home, their nationality, their political views, their abilities…everything! You name it…I’ve judged them. Not always in a bad way, but judged.

Maybe the better wording is….COMPARED MYSELF TO!!! That’s it!

But I don’t mean to! I don’t want to!

I DON’T KNOW THEM! How unfair of me! Maybe that 30 minute moment in the restaurant when my waitress isn’t as attentive as I would like her to be is because her child is in the hospital sick and she can’t be by her child’s side because the bills keep comin’.

Maybe the boss is more critical of work because his wife just told him she is leaving him for someone else that doesn’t spend so much time in the office and all she wants is happiness.

Maybe the cashier at the discount store is having trouble today because she just placed a parent in a nursing home because her and her family can no longer care for them.

Maybe that child in your classroom acts out because that is the only attention he can get because his parents are addicts who would rather spend grocery money on their “next fix”.

We don’t know why people behave the way they do. It isn’t our responsibility to judge, but to love. As difficult as it can be we must not turn our noses up to those who are different than us. We can’t compare ourselves to anyone! OUR LIVES, ARE OUR LIVES! No one else lives every moment in our shoes.

If they are lost, we need to share God’s word with them. If they need prayer, then pray for them. If its direction and guidance, be an example for them. You may never get a thank you or even an acknowledgment that you made a difference, but God sees all things and you will make a difference in His kingdom.

Be a blessing and you will be blessed!

Have a great week!

Kaaren

Heartwork

And we know that ALL THINGS
Work together for good to
those who love God, to
those who are called according
to His purpose.

Romans 8:28

Posted in Confidence, Love | 4 Comments

So Wasteful

Posted on November 12, 2012 by

I hate, and I don’t like the word “hate”, but that just tells you how much I dislike the task of cleaning out the refrigerator.  But I hate doing it!  My reasons:

  1. Usually occurs after the food could be used as an antibiotic or science experiment.
  2. Results in dirty dishes
  3. Requires me to wash dishes, which I have to do by hand since I don’t have a dishwasher.  Yes this is worth 2 reasons
  4. My dog doesn’t need all of the spicy food, which leads to the last but most important reason.
  5. I am tired of throwing food, aka, money in the trash on a weekly basis.

Why don’t we eat the leftovers?  Some leftovers we devour, but others seem to never disappear.  My husband says that there is a point in time that the pot of beans need to go “buh bye”.

We have become such a throw away society.  Disposable plates, cups, napkins, you name it…trash, trash, trash.  We call it convenience, but in reality, it’s wasteful.

My wastefulness has carried over into my bedroom closet.  I can’t find anything because there are so many clothes!  I bet 75% of my clothes I don’t wear.  I justify keeping everything because “one day I will be able to fit into those jeans”.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? (that’s me, frustrated at myself)  There is a skinny woman out there with no money and no clothes who would wear those “skinny clothes” now!  I know this!  So why do I hang onto them?  I have no idea!  Good intentions?  Memories of a former self that I hope to return?  I don’t know why!

There are families that would love to have food on their table!  I just toss it in the trash again and again.

I don’t just waste food and money, I waste time! How much time have I wasted on the wrong things?  Things that don’t glorify God and His kingdom.  I know I’m not the only one.

  1. Movies with crude language.
  2. Books that cause my mind to wander away from God and His will for my life.
  3. People that didn’t affect my life positively, even though there are lessons to be learned.
  4. Technology -  I enjoy Facebook…to a point.  But when all I see are pictures that have been taken of my friends in the bathroom mirror…tired of it.  And when your status update tells me that you need to poop…you have been on FB too much.  My opinion, but I don’t care what your bowels are doing.
  5. Television – I have replaced real life relationships with characters from a television series.  Wasteful!

Why are we so careless and wasteful with our food, our clothes, our time, our money?  Material things have become our way of life.  I’m tired of being so careless!

But it isn’t only our possessions that we are wasteful.  Consider how we attend church Sunday morning, all the while trying to figure out what we are having for lunch as soon as the service is over.  We waste God’s messages for us!

  • Sunday – We consume a portion of the message while sitting in the pew, but when the argument in the car starts on the way to the house, we have tossed it in the trash.
  • Monday and Tuesday – it’s a new week and we don’t want to be at work with the co-worker who drains our patience.  God’s word, doesn’t apply to me.  God doesn’t understand how difficult she is to deal with.
  • Wednesday – We have our Life Group…yeah there will be food!  Literally!  Oh yeah and then we will read some scriptures.  I hope it’s interesting tonight.
  • Thursday to Saturday – Praise the Lord it’s almost the weekend!  I really hope the kids don’t need a taxi service for any reason.  And my husband had better not decide he is going to relax, because if I can’t relax he can’t relax.  What did our marriage group talk about Wednesday night?  I can’t remember…tossed out with the Sonic cheeseburger foil wrapper!
  • Sunday – Church, I hope the couple that sits in front of us and always shows up late aren’t there today.  They really disturb the service.  I don’t know why they can’t get there on time.

Wasteful!  God’s message for each of us tossed into the trash before we can even reap the benefits of its nutrients.  On Sunday morning we have His appetizer plate and WE.ARE.DONE.

What are we throwing away when we don’t spend time everyday with God?  What protein do we miss when we listen to the preacher for 20 minutes on Sunday and don’t study on our own.

Our quiet time with our Heavenly Father is very important.  From my own experience, my study and prayer time with God releases more power against Satan than any other time.  God makes it personal for me, my needs, my desires.  And He wants to make it personal with you.  He doesn’t have “cookie cutter” relationships.  He has a buffet and we can never have too much!  He wants to be your closest friend.

I pray and challenge each of you to find time in your day to feed on God’s word, to fellowship with your Heavenly Father.  He is always ready, regardless of the condition of your refrigerator, the laundry basket, the flower beds, the paperwork piled on your desk.  Take Him to soccer practice, you sit in the car on the phone anyway.  Get off your smart phone and take your Bible and a notebook instead.  He is portable and always available.   Don’t toss His food into the trash!  He loves you and there are never leftovers when God prepares the meal.

Heartwork

Matthew 6:19-21

Jesus said, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth.  Where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Heavenly Father, help me to rid myself and my life of the things that take away from my relationship with you.  I don’t want to waste anymore blessings, anymore revelations, anymore breakthroughs.  Father God you are my treasure and I want to know you better.  Feed me spiritually and give me wisdom and discernment to receive your Word with a cheerful heart. You have never thrown me aside and continued to pursue me.  Forgive me Father for my selfishness and fleshly nature.  Thank you for loving me always.  Thank you for your mercy and grace.  It’s in Jesus’ precious name I pray, Amen.

Posted in Confidence, Forgiveness, Healing, Hope, Love, Peace, Stability, Uncategorized, Warfare, Worry | 3 Comments

What do you expect?

Posted on March 10, 2012 by
I am on an airplane right now, my second one for the day actually. My husband and I are going to see our new grandbaby!  Woohoo! I’m a granny! I don’t think it has actually hit me yet.  But I’m sure it will soon!
During our layover in las Vegas, we stopped at a restaurant, not to eat, but to just rest our bones.  I do t know about y’all but a plane ride to Vegas isn’t a quiet one.
At the restaurant I decided I was going to have a “snack”. And if you know me my snacks are wonderfully full of calories! Not the healthy ones either.  I chose Dulce de Leche cheesecake.  For those of you that don’t know what that is, all I can say is it is straight sin on a plate.  Google it…don’t look at nutritional value though, depression will kick in.
I ate the whole thing! Wait a minute, no I didn’t.  Scott had one bite.  He said it was awful.  I’m glad he ate the bad bite, cause the bites I ate, we’re scrumptious.
We board our plane, same airline as before, but for some reason, my butt doesn’t fit as easily into the seat.  Really? How did that happen? I make the comment, “my butt has either gotten wider or this company has made their seats smaller”.
My husband says, “how do you expect your butt not to get wider, when you eat cheesecake?” First of all, he wasn’t rude about it. Second of all…He is exactly right!
Wow! What a concept! What do I expect?  I complain all of the time about my weight, but don’t take the steps I need to do anything about it.  My closet is full of clothes that don’t fit my expanding backside.  I am the only on who is to blame.  Not the airline, not the washing machine, not clothing stores.  Me and me alone.
We need to approach our relationship with Christ the same way.  We need to read His word for ourselves.  We need to kneel in prayer during our trials.  It is nice to have our prayer warriors and pastor on speed dial, but we have a direct line to God.  Free long distance, 24/7 nights and weekends included.
You do not have to have a bunch of fancy word to take to your Heavenly Father.  In fact in Matthew 6:5-8 Jesus teaches about how to pray.  He says;
And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men.  I tell you the truth, they have received their full reward in full.  But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray unto your Father, who is unseen.  Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.  And when you pray, do not keep babbling like the pagans, for they think that they will be heard because of their many words.  Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
I had a friend who lost her mother a little over a year ago and her family wanted to have a small memorial on the anniversary of her mother’s death.  She told me, that she wished she would have called me to be there with her to pray.  She told me that she knew I would say a nice prayer and that I would make it really special.  I felt honored that she thought of me.  But I also explained to her that she didn’t need me to pray, that she had the same direct line to God that I did.
And then she began to tell me a story about her 3 year old son telling her how much he missed his grandma and how sweet he was when he talked about the memories they had with her.  I pointed out to her the fact that her son, who doesn’t  have an large vocabulary, with big, fancy words and it was precious to a mama’s ears.  That is exactly how our Daddy in heaven feels about us.
Therefore if we see our children’s words as sweet, precious, and unforgettable, why would God see our words any different?
1 John 3:1. How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!
That exclamation point is in the Bible, I didn’t add it.  When God puts an exclamation mark, you had better pay attention sister!  Whew!  I love it!  I AM A CHILD OF GOD! PRAISE THE LORD! HALLELUJAH!
But Kaaren, I have done terrible things.  My words aren’t always sweet and kind.  You don’t know my past, or my present! No I don’t, but I know God does and he loves you anyway.  He knows you future and the words that will leave your mouth in the future.  Am I saying its okay to talk like a sailor?  No, but it happens.
And when you find yourself doing that….pray!  Ask God to guard your tongue!  He will!   I know that the bad things that used to roll off my tongue (I worked at a men’s prison for 6 years) and they don’t flow as easily now.  Tongue and mouth are bridled and harnessed now.  Honestly, I don’t even have to try very hard anymore.
God wants you to talk to him.  He wants that prayer time with you.  I think God allows certain things to happen in our lives so we will have to go to him in prayer.
James 5:9-12
Jesus said;
Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives, he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.  Matthew 7:7
What do i expect, when i eat the cheesecake?  Tighter britches!
Heartworks
What do you expect if you don’t take that step to relationship with God?
What DO you expect when you take that step?
What can God expect from you?  How committed will you be?
Jesus loved the little children, all the children of the world, red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight, Jesus loved the little children of the world!
Be His child today and everyday from now on.  Expect great things from Him and you will never be disappointed.  We expect things daily from our worldly interactions, only to realize most are short term.
He is the same, yesterday, today, and forever.
Posted in Hope | Leave a comment

I can’t see!

Posted on February 24, 2012 by

As I’m typing this I am thinking I need a to go see my eye doctor.   My last eye exam wasn’t that long a go but these contacts have never seemed to fit right.  The doctor I saw wasn’t my regular doctor.  That was my first mistake.  For one I didn’t only get contacts, I bought glasses.  I can’t see with them either!

When I say my contacts don’t fit right, they don’t fit right!  If you have never worn contacts you don’t know what that means, but if you have…you know exactly what I’m talking about.

My right contact continually “floats” around in my eye and one minute I can see, but the next minute it’s blurry.  And tell me how can one eye feel like it has dirt in it all the time?  How do you “scratch” the itch in your eye.  I think the inside corner is raw from me attempting this task.

The left one is ok.  Well I should say, not as bad as the right, but I think I’m straining that eye to see because the right one is messed up!  So bring on the headaches!  Oh and did I mention that I sit at a computer all day?  That’s good for the eyeballs and the pains in my brain!  lol!

By the end of the day my eyes are so tired that I take my contacts out and break out the lovely coke bottle bottom glasses.  The glasses I had, before this last pair.  Girls, I’m not kidding!  Gorgeous times 10!

BUT…I can see!  No floaties, no itchiness, none of the bug-eyed feeling going on with these bad boys!

Clear vision is a great thing!  Everything feels good and works perfectly.  But the blurriness reminds me of when we let the dirt and floaties get in the way of us seeing ourselves as God sees us.  And also how we should see God.  We bring irritation to what God has planned for our lives.  When we don’t have the right “fit”.  We become itchy and irritated.  We float around in our own way and God attempts to adjust our ways and then headaches begin.  We don’t want the headaches because of the pain involved.

The strain of being focused for so long, on the big picture without God.  We try to do things by ourselves.  On our own…not working.  Well not for long anyways.  We need to set our eyes on God and allow Him to show us who we truly are.  We need to remain faithful and get out our glasses, coke bottle bottoms and all!  God has great things in our future if we will let him do the work.

Matthew 9:29

New International Version (NIV)

29 Then he touched their eyes and said, “According to your faith let it be done to you”;

Numbers 24:4

New International Version (NIV)

4 the prophecy of one who hears the words of God, who sees a vision from the Almighty,[a]    who falls prostrate, and whose eyes are opened:
Heavenly Father, remove anything that blocks your promises from our mind and our sight.  We must constantly have you in front of us in order to fight off the enemy.  He delivers lies and false truths.  Your Word brings hope and abundance for each of us.  We take an open-hearted approach towards you today Father God.  We know that you are the perfect fit and even though there are floaties in our life you are always there.  In Jesus’ precious name I pray, Amen
Heartwork
What is blocking your vision of God’s plan for your life?  What dirt do you need to clean up and get out?  Are you wearing the “glasses” God made especially for you?
I would love to hear from you!  You can email me at heartworkswm@ymail.com

 

Posted in Stability | Leave a comment

Never Imagined

Posted on January 27, 2012 by

As a child, especially being a little girl, I pictured my life when I was “all grown up”.  I couldn’t wait for that day to happen.  I wanted my own house, picture Barbie doll mansion, with my “Ken” husband.    We would have the corvette and the jeep inside of the garage.  Motorhome outside in the driveway. Oh and don’t forget Barbie’s horse.  On weekends we could go to the city and stay in the townhouse.

What a dream.  What a life.  Did Barbie ever work?  Well she did have the grocery store, but I bet she “owned” the store.  The beauty salon, visited once a week, right…maybe on Friday afternoons after having lunch with the girls.  Did she ever get paid for babysitting Skipper?  Did her dogs ever poop in the mansion? Did the cat ever throw-up on the bathroom rug, only to be discovered by Barbie’s foot on the way to pee?

My life didn’t turn out like Barbie’s.  I’m sure many of ours didn’t.  As I approached the big “4″ “0″ (and quickly flew past it) going on 2 weeks into the 40-year-old age bracket now,  I have been thinking about how different life is, compared to what I thought it would be.

I never imagined I would have had an abortion at the age of 16.

I never imagined that I would be pregnant, again at 18.

I never imagined that I would allow myself to stay in an abusive relationship for 8 years and then wind up divorced.

I never imagined that my boys, instead of having dignity in myself, would be the only reason why I would leave that situation.

I never imagined I would  have a son who was homosexual.

I never imagined my son would reject Jesus, and worship Satan.

I never imagined my child would be on the verge of being homeless, at the age of 21.

I never imagined that I would start my college education, only to not finish.

I never imagined that I would find love again, after 10 years of being single.

I never imagined that I would marry a man, who God knew I needed.

I never imagined I would be a farmer’s wife, who loves being in the quiet of the country.

I never imagined I would be the auntie of triplets, who are God’s miracles I can actually reach out and touch.

I never imagined I would have to put my dad in a nursing home, when I was 39 he was only 62.

I never imagined how hard it would be say goodbye, to the only Dad I ever knew.

I never imagined that I would have to lean on God, all day, everyday.

I never imagined that God loved me as much as He does, even though I’m not perfect.

I never imagined that God would lead me into Women’s Ministry, my passion, my life.

I never imagined I would listen to Satan’s lies, after all of this time with God.

I never imagined remaining faithful would be so hard, even when I love God so much.

My dreams are still here, but they are now so different.  I pray that you search your heart for your secret longing.  And when you do, you will find Jesus waiting on you to fulfill His dreams for your life.  Not the life of your neighbor, your brother, your sister, your co-worker or friend.  Your life, the one He wrote for you when He knit you together in your mother’s womb.  Psalm 139:13

Heartwork

Is there anything in your life that you need to let go of and give to God?  What dreams have you been hanging onto out of fear, only to make yourself miserable?  What dreams do you cling to, but don’t act on? Give it to Him.  He knows the desires of our hearts and He will show you what He wants for your life.   Don’t let the “idea” of Barbie and Ken’s life control your mind.  We aren’t Barbie and Ken, we are who God created us to be.

Heavenly Father I come to you in awe today, as I see how you have guided me to exactly where you want me to be.  Even through the storms I have encountered, you have known how I would respond. You have been there every step of the way guiding me.  Forgive me for not listening when I should have and acted on outside of Your will.  Thank you for loving me the way you do and staying by my side at all times.  Father God your Word always reveals the truth and I ask that your Holy Spirit remind me when doubt and unbelief tries to take root.  In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen. 

Posted in Healing, Peace, Stability | Leave a comment

Why Wait?

Posted on January 19, 2012 by

As a young girl I spent lots of time with my grandparents.  My sister and I loved to stay the night at Nanny and Daddad’s.  We usually had to take turns.  I always wanted Friday night, and if Robin stayed, she would get Saturday night.

I had it figured out, Friday night I watched Dallas and Knots Landing with the grown ups, and then Saturday morning I would get to go to the grocery store with Nanny.  Who remember’s Furr’s Supermarkets?  I loved their bakery…cherry donuts, yummy.  I can taste them now…Nanny would always buy apple fritters for her and my grandad, I didn’t like them, I think it was because they looked funny.

Side tracked for a moment…good memories.   But back to the house Nanny and I would go.  Nanny would always clean house after we put the groceries away and I would usually try to stay out of her way.  I would help if she needed it, but rarely did she need me.  She was one of those people who would do the work rather than tell someone else how to do it.  I come my that honestly.

Her house had many treasures that really had no monetary value, but they were hers.  So that is very valuable when I looked to her the way I did.  One of the many things that stands out in my mind were the “guest” towels in the bathroom.  There were two sets, a dark brown and an off white.   One week she would hang the darker set, the next week the lighter set.  Both had appliqued butterflies with embroidery around the edges.  She had bath towel sized, hand towel, and wash cloths.  All matched and were strategically placed one on top of the other.   Think Sleeping with the Enemy, but not crazy, but elegant.  The only problem…

WE NEVER USED THESE TOWELS!  Our guests never used these towels. I didn’t understand it. Why have them?  I never asked my grandmother who they were for, it was just and unspoken thing…for guests.

My grandmother died when I was in 9th grade, and the towels came to my mom’s house, my house too…WE NEVER USED THEM.  We didn’t even display them.  They stayed at the bottom of the linen closet, still perfect.

I knew how much my Nanny liked them, so that made me like them and after I bought my own house, my mom gave them to me.  My Nanny was the most perfect woman in my eyes and if I had something of hers…I still had her with me.  Did they fit my bathroom decor? No, but they  were my Nanny’s and I wanted them.  BUT I USED THEM!  I used them so much they should have been retired long before they were.  If Raggedy Ann and Andy had towels, these would be them.  I couldn’t depart with something my Nanny cherished so much.  Something that I saw everyday when I went to visit her house.   But eventually I did let them go.

When I think about how perfect they hung on her towel rack, I try to picture the guest who would have qualified to use those towels.  And it’s not like we were hoitey toitey and had really prestige people coming by.   We were simple people.  To this day I can’t think of one person that was ever eligible to use the towels.

What is the point?  Why have something in your life if you aren’t going to utilize it?  Why do we allow things to clutter up our houses, our minds, our time, if it isn’t being productive or put to good use?  If anyone reading this has unused guest towels…I don’t place judgement on you…I promise! ;-)

So I have to ask…why wait to use the guest towels?  You be the guest!  Enjoy your towels today!  Why have them if you don’t…Why wait to eat off the good dishes for the company to show up? Enjoy the dishes everyday, treat yourself as a guest!   Why wait to dress up nice for that special occassion? Make everyday special, look in the mirror and like what you see.  Why wait to go back to school?  Time is going by regardless if you are studying for an exam or watching TV.  Why wait to change jobs if you are miserable where you work now?  Find something else, don’t complain about it and make other people miserable!   Why wait to tell that friend, that relative, or loved one, you love them and you are sorry for the pain you may have caused? You are missing the opportunity to make amends and create new memories together.  Why wait to forgive that certain person?  Maybe they didn’t know they hurt you, maybe they did, be the bigger, stronger person, the example they need…take God with you into that situation.  Forgive them my friend.

Why wait to accept Christ as your Lord and Savior? He wants to bless you now! He loves you now!  He wants you this hour, this minute!  WHY WAIT ANY LONGER?

The reason I say this is because the only thing… the only thing we are promised in this life, is that one day…it will all come to an end.  That is the one guarantee in life, that eventually we will all be gone from this earth and leave friends and family behind to deal with our “guest towels”.  WHY WAIT TO LIVE?  Enjoy it!

Matthew 6:19-21

Jesus said, 19″Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

I don’t know about you but I’m tired of waiting to live.  Waiting until a certain date to lose weight…whatever…I’m going to do it now…for me!  I want to love getting dressed every morning, not dread it.  I want to love shopping again!  I’m not doing it for anyone but me!

Heartwork -

What have you waited to use?  Why?  How does that benefit you? Do you want to change? If you did how would your life be different?

Heavenly Father I love you and I ask that you show me where I need to “declutter” my life with the things that don’t matter.  I don’t want to wait any longer for your blessings, for your guidance, for your love.  When I need to step up to the responsibility for my actions I ask that you give me the courage to do it boldly and with no hesitation.  When I need to quiet my tongue and listen how I inflicted pain upon others I ask that you give me the ability to take refuge in you and your word.  When I need self control I ask that you give me the ability to refrain from temptation.  I love you Father and I ask all of these things in Jesus’ holy name, Amen.

Posted in Healing, Peace | Leave a comment

Gimme Five Minutes

Posted on December 27, 2011 by

How many of you have made a pie from scratch?  And I don’t mean one that has the pudding mix from a box for the filling.  I am talking about standing over the stove, stirring and stirring, praying that you don’t scorch the bottom type pie filling.

Well, over Christmas my baby boy, who by the way is now 19 years old, requested a chocolate pie.  My child asks and he shall receive.  Does my son understand what all goes into making a pie from scratch?  Probably not, but I didn’t complain I just filled his request.  Not to mention it had been a while since I made a pie with cooked filling.  And those of you who cook know how you can get “out of practice” with certain cooking skills.

Let me just start by saying, pie crust…the ugliest I have ever made. But it is going to taste wonderful, right?  Who cares what it looks like?

Dry ingredients, check…all combined and in the saucepan.  Milk, whole…as fresh as you can get from a store.  Heat, medium…gas stove, perfect to control temperature.  Eggs, separated, vanilla and butter standing by.

As I began to stir waiting for the sugar, flour and chocolate to thicken, my husband decides he needs me to help him around the house.  Seriously?  I’ve been sitting in the chair not doing anything for 2 days and now that I can’t stop stirring he wants me to help him.  I tell him and picture the look on my face will you, “I can’t right now, and I have to keep stirring.” I think he thought I was lying.

The filling starts to thicken and boil, great!  Stir for 2 minutes and then remove from heat, gradually add mixture to eggs and stir.  I have my timer counting down the minutes.  Bingo…time for the eggs here comes the hot mixture…stir, stir, and stir, back to the saucepan you go.  Bring to a boil again…2 minutes.  Uh oh, husband is back.  Can you help me now?  “No, gimme 5 minutes and I can help you.”  And I think to myself, “he’d better be ready in 5 minutes because I still have meringue to make.”

He gives up on me.  Do I feel bad?  Yes, I hardly ever tell him I’m too busy to help him.  But there was nothing I could do.  5 minutes that’s all I needed and then the filling would be in the crust waiting for the meringue.  Boiling, remove from heat, butter and vanilla.  Paula Deen loves that part and so do I, the aroma fills the air.  Yum!  A break, not long, but a break.  Husband has decided to complete the task himself.

Egg whites are whipped until stiff peaks are formed; edges are sealed and then baked until golden brown. Beautiful!  You can’t even see the deformed crust anymore.  No one will even know how ugly the crust was.  My son said it tasted wonderful and appearances didn’t keep him from enjoying his chocolate.  He laughed when I told him the story about the different stages of pie making. I explained to him how to prevent ugly pie crusts.

What touched my heart so much during this process was how God gives us “the ingredients” we need to be our best.  We all have our “crust or shell”.  As perfect as it is one day, the next it may look like you don’t have what it takes to hold your “filling”.  If we only use what God put in us, results aren’t consistent.

God stirs us during the thickening process, continually watching over us for changes in the texture of our ingredients.  Stirring and stirring to prevent us from scorching.    After He determines we are at just the right stage for the “eggs”, our protein, He gives us more.  But He does this even more carefully than any other ingredient in our lives; the protein is an important part of the presentation.  Are we tempered?  Has he added enough “hot liquid”?  Can we go back into the pan to create the finished product?  What will be the outcome if He didn’t stir long enough?

Give Him 5 minutes!  Let Him seal your edges.  Let Him whip the egg whites of your life to stiff peaks!  You will bask in Him if you will let Him be the Master Chef in your life.

When we allow God to fill our shells and the crusts we have created, we become wonderful.  I have discovered that the people, who can’t see past my past, are not the people who matter in my life.  The judgment they have against me no longer matters.   It is God’s judgment that matters and He continues to “stir” me daily and I promise it takes longer than 5 minutes.  Praise the Lord; I don’t ever want Him to stop showing me how much I mean to Him.

Heartworks

Psalms 139:14-16

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful.  I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be

Heavenly Father,  

Thank you for stirring me, thank you for giving me everything I need to be who you want me to be.  I pray that I present myself in a way that you can be proud of me.  Heavenly Father I want to only look to you for approval.  I will trust you with my life.  I will not concern myself with what is acceptable to this world; I only want what is acceptable to you and your kingdom.  I love you Lord, and it’s in Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Posted in Stability, Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Do You See Me?

Posted on December 19, 2011 by

As a mom and a former employee of an elementary school I recognize when a child seeks attention.  It could be in a positive or negative manner they don’t care how that attention is attained but there is a goal.  And most of the time there is a method to their madness.  It may be talking in class, acting out on the playground, silliness during reading, how they dress, how they respond to others, and reactions to discipline or any number of things that will create a moment of “stardom”.  Do you see me?

How many adults do you know behave in a way that draws attention?  The temper tantrums from those that didn’t get their way, the boisterous voice that carries down the office hallway,  the fancy cars and houses that require long work weeks, the dress to impress a frenemy so she can feel good on the inside.  Turning to alcohol or drugs in order to forget the person they really have become.  Do you see me?

The eyes of a child in foster care who doesn’t know how long the bedroom he sleeps in will be his bedroom.  The friends he gains may be short lived if he has to move again because of the men his mom chooses.  The eyes of a child who longs for a parent who can save her from the beatings from her biological mother and father.  The heart of a child who numbs the screams and cries from the other room as adults fail to recognize the precious one hiding behind the closed door.  Do you see me?

The young man who wanders the street because he left home to “be on his own”.  He wanted to make his own choices in life and to prove himself.  He quit school to get a GED and have freedom from the world, only to be trapped by the concrete walls and ground he sleeps on.   Something is missing, he won’t admit it.  He claims that he enjoys the simple life, but his heart cries out silently.  Do you see me?

As we go about out day to day schedule how often do we “look” at the person we are interacting with?  I mean really look at them?  We live in such a fast paced, selfish society that we overlook many things.  With the technology today we don’t have to have face to face conversations with anyone.  Think about the kidnapping of Jaycee Lee Duggard, she was held captive for 18 years.  18 years…how can that be?  There must have been something in her eyes that revealed the truth.  And there is also Elizabeth Smart, missing 9 months, finally seen in public by a biker even though she was in disguise.  Thank God for an observant stranger.

How well do you “look” at your family members and friends?  What motivates them?  What are they passionate about?  What is special about them?  What brings out their best? What causes them pain? Who are they to their core?

Watch a couple that has been together for several years.  They begin to become more and more alike the longer they are together.  Sometimes my husband or I will make a comment about an issue and one of us will say, “I was just thinking the exact same thing”.  That comforts me that we are that close.   Watch multiple birth children.  They finish each other’s sentences.  They can be apart from one another, but have the natural instinct that something may be wrong with their brother or sister.  How awesome it is!

There are times when I don’t throw any temper tantrums and I don’t scream and yell, but the trials in my life make me want to lay down in the floor and start kicking and screaming.

The trials we go through, the death of a parent, the waywardness of a child, the loss of a job, the heartache of a friendship turned bad, the choices we make that we regret.  We ask, “Do you see me?”  And we don’t want to ask just once…DO YOU SEE ME?  we ask over and over and over.

But who are we asking?  Anyone?  Who can fill our emptyness?  The answer to this question is yes He does.  Our Heavenly Father sees our trials.  He not only sees them, He is there with us in the midst of them.

Jeremiah 29:11 says;

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Does this mean life will be perfect and we will never have difficulties?  No, this just means that God knows our future and we can have hope in Him.  With God we will have a glorious ending.

James 1:12

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Staying faithful during stress allows God to work and it eliminates any strongholds that Satan tries to use for destruction of God’s kingdom.  Cling to Christ during your questions and doubts.  Rally together with Him to establish your foundation on the rock.

Heartwork

I’ve given you the groundwork for your week, but take it a step further.  Listen for God’s voice.  His Holy Spirit asking your heart this question, “Do you see me?” Look for God in your day to day activities and answer His question, and your question will also be answered.

I love each one of you!

Heavenly Father as we go about our daily activities speak to our hearts.  Open our eyes to see You in everything we do.  Open our hearts to see others as you see them; we are all your children.  Help us to love what you love and hate what you hate.  We live in a world today that wants instant gratification and we forget how hearts can ache silently.  The cries of our own hearts need healing.  Fill that empty place Father God with your love and security.  Remind us how to stop and appreciate one another for “who” we are.  In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Posted in Healing | 2 Comments

Embraceable Me

Posted on December 16, 2011 by

It’s Friday!  Woohoo!  Today is exactly 27 days to my birthday!  Yes I am counting!  With joy!  I feel like a kid waiting on her birthday.  You see in 27 days I will be 40…yep…the BIG “FOUR OHH”.   Does that sound crazy to some of you?  Some of you may even be saying, “40! That’s not old; just wait till you’re my age”.

Last week I had a friend ask me if I thought I would grow old gracefully.  I never really thought about it but I told her “I hope so”.  But then I started thinking about how I picture myself.  How I try to “prevent looking older”.  The age defying products I purchase, but then can’t seem to find the sunscreen when I’m at the lake. Did you know tanned fat looks better than white fat?  Haha!

But the truth of the matter is I don’t see 40 as old!  I see it as ground breaking!  I can’t wait!  It seems like the more birthdays I have the better I feel about myself!  Praise the Lord!  Finally!

For instance, as I was getting dressed I was re-evaluating my closet.  I have clothes that no longer fit my 40 year old body.  But I am not sad about the departure.  The majority of them would only look cute on a college girl, or nowadays a junior high girl.  Great!  Time to shop!  My new favorite store by the way is Chico’s!  Hint, hint to my husband.  I even pointed out our local store to him on Monday!  ;-)

In all honesty I think my revelation is not due to my birthday, but my confidence is owed to Christ.  The more I embrace Him, the more I embrace myself and my body!  The one He created!  It is what it is and I have finally accepted it!  Freedom for me!  I have never, hear me never, been skinny, even after losing weight, I still had curves.  I look at pictures of my “younger” self and I have always been bigger than the other girls my age.  Does that make me less special to anyone?  No!  Does that make me less important than anyone? No!  Does that make me any less valuable? No!  It makes me who I am.  Kaaren, who was created in God’s image.

But it hasn’t always been this way.  I have dieted ALL MY LIFE!   I have felt inadequate ALL MY LIFE!  I have always compared myself to others.  The media…oh my!  In my 40 year old wisdom, I now see celebrity life as a brutal life.   I wouldn’t trade with any of them.  The women in the media get picked apart piece by piece.  And we read it!  We watch their reality shows.  Only it isn’t reality.   We want to look like them!  I can’t even imagine how they see themselves in the mirror.  I don’t want to imagine it.  I know how my brain used to work overtime when it came to my appearance.

Check out some words of wisdom, God’s words of wisdom

2 Corinthians 10:12-13

12 We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. 13 We, however, will not boast beyond proper limits, but will confine our boasting to the sphere of service God himself has assigned to us, a sphere that also includes you

Galatians 6:4

4 Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else,

I was doing the exact opposite of those scriptures.  I wasn’t living according to God’s word and didn’t even know it.  Don’t you know this grieved God’s heart?  Think about someone you know who your heart aches for.  Who you cry for because they don’t see how valuable they are.  If you can’t think of someone….GO LOOK IN A MIRROR!  The reflection looking back is God’s masterpiece.  Those scriptures were written for ALL OF US.  Man, woman, and child.

Monday I picked up a copy of Vogue magazine while I was at a doctor’s appointment.  I was disgusted to what I saw.  It is full of nothing but rail thin models wearing clothes that our Heavenly Father and probably our earthly father would not consider appropriate.  I guess I hadn’t really paid attention to the magazines young girls are comparing themselves to now.   Now do I see the women on the pages as beautiful, yes?  But not because of their weight or size zero jean size.  They are beautiful to me because they are God’s masterpiece.  Just like each one of us who shop outside of the size zero.

As I approach my birthday I am embracing God more than ever.  I am embracing my life more than ever.  I am embracing family and friendships more than ever.  Life is too short to consume our minds and our energy with things that don’t define who God created us to be and His will for our lives.  We are to honor and glorify Him always and by continually doubting ourselves, we doubt God.  The Heartwork for this week is speaking of a wife of noble character.  Regardless of our earthly status, we are all wives of Christ.  I love you and have a great weekend!

Heartwork

Proverbs 31:25-31

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Heavenly Father thank you for embracing me daily.  Please remind me of how this earthly place will disappoint and bring about doubt in my life.  Only you offer the security I need and a place for me to retreat during these moments.  Your arms are where my heart rests and my mind is renewed.  Heavenly Father help me to win this war with myself and Satan.  He wants to see me defeated but with you oh God I am made whole.  Thank you for loving me the way you know I need.  You know the desires of my heart and I ask that you change me so that my desires are your desires.  In Jesus’ precious name I pray, Amen.

Posted in Confidence, Peace | 7 Comments

What is Love?

Posted on December 4, 2011 by

I have been praying on what to write about in my next post.  The word “Love” kept coming to mind.  So I asked myself, “What is love? What does love mean to me? How do I show love? How do I define love?” The following scriptures are examples of the many ways God shows love and we are to love.

John 3:16

16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life

1 John 4:8-10.

 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

BUT…As I begin to write, I’m not feeling very loving.  Words were said today that pierced my heart.  There are people in my life that know how to push my buttons and bring out the ugliness in me. This upsets me, because I allow their words and actions to dictate my mood. Do they do it on purpose? A test?  Maybe they do…Did I pass today? Do I pass ever? Not as often as I should. But I guess that is what separates us from Jesus and his unconditional love.

And when I say people in my life, I mean, my husband, my kids, my mom, my step-mother, my friends, my co-workers, the people I interact with every day.  I hope they don’t “attack” all at once.  It won’t be pretty.

God’s word tells us to forgive these same people. How many times? They don’t become more like Christ. They inflict painful things on our hearts, over and over. Sometimes they apologize, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes we apologize, sometimes we don’t.

Strangers on the other hand I have the ability to be polite and hold my tongue. I control my actions, my feelings that are not “Christ like”. Those times are over fairly quickly. They are strangers; I will probably never see them again. I am a very caring, sweet and loving person. That part is true, I promise. Do you have the same characteristics? Why do we respond differently?

Why do we treat the people closest to us so poorly during our moments of moodiness or anger? I have come to believe it’s because we know they won’t reject us. For the most part, they will always be there. I don’t know about you but, most of the time its close family members that get hurt the most or cause the most damage.  Or is it that we take the words spoken by those closest to us deeper to heart than words of strangers?  Sadly we take our frustrations out on the ones we should love the most.  Even if “they started it” or it isn’t our fault. We fail to follow God’s word about loving others.

I am a child of divorce and I have been divorced. I am married now and it is a new adventure daily. I don’t want another divorce, but there are moments it is easy to forget why I married my husband. And the ugliness wants to begin again.  Thoughts run rampant!

If I wasn’t married I would have less laundry, less cooking, less dishes, less bills, less family, less stress. I focus on what he didn’t do, instead of what he has done. My mind can think of lots of things right now! Then I think about his good qualities and I can’t imagine my life without him! I would have less laughs, less talking, less sharing, less snuggle time, less friends, less dreams, less family, less stuff…married stuff, together stuff. I don’t want less…

Let me tell you a story. I work in a building with several women, and 2, count them one, two…MEN.  That’s it!  Only 2!

I can hear each of you now…yep, the psycho movie theme music is playing, you are visualizing the knife…the shadow in the shower…sorry, back to story.

But we have about 3 or 4 women who deliberately make the working environment miserable. A couple of them will talk to you if one of their co-workers is out of the building. Poor thing can’t be friends with anyone else. AND THESE ARE GROWN WOMEN! Hello? This isn’t what God wants from His children.

You may be thinking,” Kaaren what is the point, if they aren’t going to be nice to me, I’m not going to be nice to them”. I have thought the same thing! But something in me makes me be nice to them. Even when I have plotted to do mean things, I can never follow thru with my plan. Do I think they deserve it? Yes, most of the time. I’m not proud of it at all. But then I think about the adulterous woman in the street. The townspeople wanted to stone her. Jesus said in John 8:7

“Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”

I have needed to have some stones thrown at me. I’m not perfect, but I am forgiven through Jesus. And so are you!   Thank you Jesus, because I definitely don’t deserve all you have given me. We all have an inheritance with Jesus.

How do we love the people who hurt us the most? How do we remain in situations that crush our spirit? BUT GOD! We need to lean on God. When we hear hurtful words, read God’s word. Take in His truth. When we put our trust in humans, we will be let down. When we put our hope in others, we will be disappointed. When we rely on our spouses to fill the emptiness in our hearts, we will remain empty. When we look to our children’s success to give us that A+ in parenting, we feel like failure when their path takes a different direction.

Remember to love like Jesus this week.  Give that person who pushes your button, a smile, a hug, tell them to have a blessed day.  Are they going to look at you like you have lost your mind?  Probably, but Jesus knows your heart.  Pray about it and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you.

Heartwork

11 For this is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. 12 Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother’s were righteous. 13 Do not be surprised, my brothers and sisters, if the world hates you. 14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love each other. Anyone who does not love remains in death. 15 Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him. 16 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. 17 If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? 18 Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. 19 This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence: 20 If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

Heavenly Father forgive us when we say hateful words to others.  Remind us that we need your Holy Spirit to help us control our tongues.  Give us the compassion and love of Jesus to be more like Christ.  Heal our hearts and our minds.  Fill our empty places with your love.  Keep our focus on you and not worldly status.  Our children are your children, guide them to your will not ours.  Enable us to love our spouses unconditionally.  Show us how be followers of Christ, for the glory of your kingdom!  In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

Posted in Love | 7 Comments